


I can't ever be without you

by FlorBexter



Series: How can I leave you here alone in the Dark verse [2]
Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, Jack/Zhao Zi - Background Relationship, M/M, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Shao Fei has a little brother, Suspense, but not of the cute kind, more of the bloodthirsty kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24553978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlorBexter/pseuds/FlorBexter
Summary: Shao Fei and Tang Yi are back in Taipei, together again, but Shao Fei's little brother is still out there, a threat on the horizon.A story in two parts on the same day.
Relationships: Tang Yi/Meng Shao Fei
Series: How can I leave you here alone in the Dark verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628047
Comments: 17
Kudos: 101





	1. On the same day - Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the next part of the **How can I leave you here alone in the dark - Verse**
> 
> Again, the title is loosely inspired by the two translations currently available of the title song of Trapped [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opSBOCyJuis) and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcUXQFxigNk&list=PLXeeKKG1Y9SWJq5HR81vbUKD7cuI4YfYp).

Tang Yi had expected to meet Meng Shao Jian one way or another. He had expected of him to appear in Taipei and let himself get caught on camera so that Shao Fei would know he was here. Maybe even appear on a crime scene in full sight of Shao Fei who would fret over the similarity to a brother he mostly knew as a little boy.

He underestimated his boldness, but he shouldn’t have because he murdered his second family the same way as his first and he obviously had no room for creativeness. According to Jack, he had vanished into thin air after the funeral of his family. There was the matter of the insurance to tend to, but the firm had said no one has claimed the money.

Tang Yi knew that it wasn’t about the money.

“I like this pattern,” he said to his shop assistant Xiao Na and turned around to admire the handicraft of the jacket. He wanted to add some patterns from local designers, and he had the feeling he was starting with a promising—

“It smells nice in here!”

Tang Yi turned towards the man who stood in the middle of his shop. He exchanged a glance with his bodyguard who eyed the man as if he had teleported himself inside. There was no bell above their door, but it took considerable effort to walk into the main salesroom when there was a huge window that provided a good look at the door.

“Thank you,” Tang Yi answered and ordered his bodyguard with a quick look to stay still. “We take care in creating a comfortable atmosphere for our customers.” He shared another glance with Xiao Na, and she shook her surprise off and approached the man as she would any other customer, greeting him and offering him something to drink but Tang Yi saw the tension in her shoulders.

They resembled each other. Mostly around the eyes but Meng Shao Jian lacked the warmth Shao Fei radiated. He was slimmer, a bit taller, and the way he appeared child-like, almost giddy, made something hot and ugly crawl up his throat and Tang Yi wanted to shoot him on the spot.

Meng Shao Jian declined the offer for a drink, put his hands behind his back, and walked up to a reck of suits.

“I want you to put the order on the fabrics,” Tang Yi said to Xiao Na and the relief was visible in her eyes. He knew that she would call Jack the moment she stepped into the little office in the back to warn him about potential trouble. Tang Yi might not be a gangster anymore, but _Xing Tian Meng_ was still a family that worked like a well-oiled machine.

Meng Shao Jian whistled and turn around with big eyes, one of the trousers in his hands.

“These are very high prices for something most people only wear once.”

Tang Yi took his time putting on his own jacket, straightened out wrinkles, and brushed away invisible dust before he gave Meng Shao Jian his attention again.

“They are not made for common people,” he said and when his fingers found the cufflinks on his sleeves his heart warmed up again. After his old ones had to remain at the police as evidence Shao Fei had gifted him new ones. They reminded him how wrong this was. How _wrong_ Meng Shao Jian was. A caricature of an extraordinary man.

“Our customers value the care and the attention to detail which goes in every one of our suits. They will wear them more than once because they are,” he showed Meng Shao Jian his teeth with a polite smile, “not reckless.”

There was rage in Meng Shao Jian. Impatience, too, but Tang Yi couldn’t figure out why he was here. Tang Yi’s relationship with Shao Fei wasn’t a secret but it wasn’t common knowledge either. Why would Meng Shao Jian seek him out when his goal was to get to Shao Fei? What kind of threat was this? Did he hope that Tang Yi would mention this encounter to Shao Fei, that he had met a man who strangely reminded him of him? Had he somehow gotten hold of the information that they had been at the destroyed house, at the place of his first murder?

“I thought about buying a suit, though,” Meng Shao Jian said and the way he rubbed the fabric between his fingers made Tang Yi’s skin crawl. “I’m having a family reunion.”

Tang Yi knew that the tension in his jaw was probably visible. He also had to deliberately unclench his hands. If he could, he would stop time and race to Shao Fei. To make sure he was still alive, still breathing, still unharmed.

I’m going to kill him, he thought and strangely, that thought relaxed him. Meng Shao Jian could posture in his shop all he wanted; he was already dead in Tang Yi’s eyes.

“A family reunion is a precious thing,” he said, and Meng Shao Jian couldn’t hide the slight squint of his eyes; he was irritated by Tang Yi’s lack of fear. This wasn’t his playground. If he had no idea about the crimes Tang Yi had already committed the better for Tang Yi. Meng Shao Jian wasn’t important enough to let him see the bullet coming.

“I will keep this shop in mind when I make my decision,” Meng Shao Jian said, and Tang Yi didn’t repress his scoff.

“Thank you for your consideration,” he said nonetheless, and when Meng Shao Jian, with his head held high as if he _needed_ this to be a victory for him, left the shop Tang Yi’s bodyguard let out a sigh. Tang Yi had forgotten he was even there.

“This one means trouble,” he said, and Tang Yi nodded in agreement. His phone vibrated and he read the text from Jack: _‘I’m following him.’_

* * *

“He’s bland,” Jack said, and the sound of his swirling knife was only interrupted by the splashing of whiskey Tang Yi poured in a glass. Jack sat in one of the big, comfy chairs in front of Tang Yi’s desk, slouched, more or less, and the way he played with his knife was often an indicator that he was bored with everything around him or just wanted to freak-out everyone around him but there was also that a little frown between his brows. As if he wasn’t happy with how Meng Shao Jian behaved.

“Bland?”, Tang Yi asked and took a sip of the whiskey. Shao Fei had tasted it once, had made a face, and had deliberately and slowly opened a can of beer in front of Tang Yi.

Jack waved with his free hand.

“You know that kind of person. A face you will forget quickly, this nice and drafted personality, with enough twist to it that people _want_ to forget them.”

Tang Yi nodded. Meng Shao Jian had seemed ordinary, but Tang Yi had looked at him with different eyes than someone Meng Shao Jian would encounter on the streets. He didn’t know what had made him realized who he had in front of him, literally in a second.

“There is a resemblance to Meng Shao Fei, but your guy has personality in contrast to his brother.”

“And Shao Fei isn’t a serial killer.”

Jack opened his arms and smiled widely at him. “You could make the case that I’m a serial killer, too.”

“But I don’t care what _you_ are, I care about the serial killer who is after Shao Fei.”

“Should I eliminate him?”

Tang Yi took the last sip from his glass and considered Jack’s offer. He didn’t know if Meng Shao Jian had already contacted Shao Fei. He wasn’t naïve, he knew Shao Fei didn’t tell him everything about his investigation regarding his brother. Maybe he knew already that Meng Shao Jian was in Taipei.

“Not yet,” he said at last, not only because he needed to know what Shao Fei knew but also because he wasn’t sure if he didn’t want to do the honours himself. “Where did you lose him? Do you know where he lives?”

Jack pointed his knife at him, clearly offended. “I didn’t lose him! I stopped following him when he entered _Taipei City Mall_ , too many security cameras. A _deliberate_ choice.”

Tang Yi raised his hands in a placative gesture and leaned back against his desk.

“He found me because I’m important to Shao Fei, maybe he will visit Zhao Zi, too,” he said and Jack’s smile, full of teeth and sparkling eyes, was downright terrifying.

“Oh please, I hope he dares.”

Tang Yi wouldn’t forbid Jack to eliminate Meng Shao Jian if he came close to Zhao Zi, he had more effective methods to let a body vanish and had no qualms about not telling Zhao Zi about Meng Shao Jian. Tang Yi wasn’t sure if he was able to kill Meng Shao Jian without Shao Fei figuring it out and Shao Fei being Shao Fei, he would arrest Tang Yi. Tang Yi loved his steadfast heart but that would really put a damper on their relationship.

“Meng Shao Jian isn’t going to try and kill me or Zhao Zi,” Tang Yi said at last. “His goal is Shao Fei and he wants to warn him, but he also wants to be a clever little shit. He hid the murder with the explosion of the gas pipeline which probably has a weird meaning.”

“Intimacy,” Jack said, and Tang Yi frowned at him. “Everyone thinks it was a tragic accident, so the stabbing is something only the victims and Meng Shao Jian know. In his mind, it’s probably their own little secret.” Jack raised his butterfly knife. “You have to get really close to stabbing someone.”

“Find out where he lives, I want to put a tracker on every vehicle he owns.”

Jack lifted a hand in a mocking salute sign. “Sure thing, boss.” 

* * *

Tang Yi stared at the cutting board. He wore his apron, the ingredients laid out before him, ready to be prepared and he knew that Shao Fei would appear in under ten minutes, but he couldn’t make his hands do something.

Shao Fei had moved in two days after they came back, this time for good, the lease on his old apartment terminated once and for all. The signs of him were scattered throughout the house and Tang Yi knew that Shao Fei would just slip out of his shoes when he came home, instead of putting them on the rack where they belonged and where any other sane person would put them on. Despite the aggravation it caused him… he liked that.

Meng Shao Jian wasn’t going to take that away from him. He clawed his hands in the wooden cutting board, the pressure painful against his fingertips, and breathed in and out. Most of the time, he was good at hiding the rage inside him. Most of the time, he could put on his suits and smile at their business partners, make deals, sign contracts, do everything a normal CEO of a normal business did. But there was still this angry little child him in, that wanted to punish everyone who dared to look at the home he made for himself, the man he loved, his family, his employees. Who wanted to take advantage of his power, of his strength and took out the brass knuckles to beat the invader bloody.

He breathed in, breathed out, and took his hands from the board. They ached as he spread them out.

“I’m home!”

Tang Yi looked up and frowned when he heard the distinctive sound of shoes being thrown against the wall, the shuffle of someone trying to slip as fast as possible into slippers and then Shao Fei walked around the corner, a little bit like a whirlwind but he also brought with him calmness and the knowledge that he was safe.

“Hey,” Tang Yi said and raised one arm for Shao Fei to tug himself against his side. Their kiss was warm and familiar, and Tang Yi felt like he could breathe a little bit easier. Shao Fei tilted his head back and scrunched his nose at him. His arms were still looped around Tang Yi, their bodies pressed together as tightly as possible.

“Whiskey?”, Shao Fei asked, and Tang Yi dived back into another kiss just because Shao Fei mumbled a threat, and a curse against his lips and play struggled against his hold.

“Whiskey,” Tang Yi confirmed and smirked when Shao Fei made a show about rubbing his lips dry on Tang Yi’s shoulder. He still had his arms around Tang Yi’s waist, so it didn’t bother Tang Yi much.

“How was work?”, he asked and pressed his fingertips into Shao Fei’s lower back, moved them in short circles. Shao Fei laid his head on his shoulder and made an appreciating sound.

“Exhausting,” he answered, “what are you making for dinner?”

“I thought about beef stir fry.” He hadn’t made a move to prepare the dinner for almost thirty minutes now and as Shao Fei made a quiet mhming sound and swayed their bodies a little bit he was even less inclined to start cooking.

Shao Fei’s eyes, most likely, wandered over the ingredients on the worktop and drew the right conclusion.

“We could order something in,” he suggested. His hair tickled the underside of Tang Yi’s jaw and even though they touched each other from head to toe he felt a wall between them that made a ball form in his throat. He had been able to bring Shao Fei back. He had been able to make him see that if he wanted to catch his brother, it was best to stay a police officer and use the resources of his department.

He won’t be able to make him see that Meng Shao Jian wasn’t going to let himself get caught and locked up. Shao Fei wasn’t going to be able to reason with him. With no official charge against his brother, Shao Fei was on his own and Tang Yi _knew_ that Shao Fei’s approach wouldn’t work with Meng Shao Jian.

Meng Shao Jian wanted to kill Shao Fei because he thought he would feel the same thrill he had felt when he had killed their parents. He thought Shao Fei was the one who got away and would give him the ultimate satisfaction the killing of his adoptive family didn’t bring him.

Shao Fei was either going to kill his brother or was going to be killed by him and Tang Yi wouldn’t allow Meng Shao Jian to force Shao Fei to make that decision. Dead or broken… neither was an outcome Tang Yi found acceptable.

He kissed Shao Fei on the head and said: “Ordering something sounds good.”


	2. On the same day - Part II

Zhao Zi didn’t mind being the first detective on a murder scene, _per se_. He just had the feeling that if his Monday shift started with a corpse it set a negative tone for the rest of the week.

The fog was still hanging over the _Keelung River_ but behind one of the bridges crossing the water, the sun was already set out to beat it. People gathered on the bridge to look over at the scene on the running path at the south side of the river. A white tent stood over the body and Zhao Zi saw that the forensic team was ready to take away the victim. He greeted one of the police officers with the raise of his coffee cup and entered the tent.

“Not a pretty sight,” one of the forensics said and turned around to zip up the body bag. Zhao Zi turned around with him and his coffee cup fell to the ground before the sight in front of him fully registered. Bail rose up in him and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t, this wasn’t… Horror and disbelief battled inside him, and he staggered out of the tent to throw up at the side of it.

“No!”, someone yelled but he wasn’t, he couldn’t… tears ran down his cheeks, but strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and when he lifted his head, he stared in Shao Fei’s face, who wasn’t dead, who wasn’t the body on the ground.

“It’s not me,” Shao Fei said urgently and caressed his arms in rough motions. It wasn’t him, Zhao Zi realized, but the horror still shook through his body. His eyes traveled frantically over Shao Fei’s face, soaking in the shape of his eyes, the tip of his nose, the way his hair fell over his brows, but it didn’t stop the trembling of his body.

“But,” Zhao Zi said and wanted to turn around, but Shao Fei held him tight. His lunges burned and he felt dizzy and confused.

“It is not me,” Shao Fei repeated, and Zhao Zi nodded. It wasn’t him.

“It’s not you,” he said.

“I got almost fooled myself,” the forensic officer who had zipped up the bag said and patted him sympathetically on the back. Now, Zhao Zi saw the paleness on the faces around him, the tension around their eyes, and how one after another the officers came to give Shao Fei a little shove against the shoulder.

“He just resembles me on the first look,” Shao Fei said and helped Zhao Zi up. He still felt jitty and downed the cup of water they brought him in one huge gulp.

Shao Fei gave him a handkerchief to dry his tears and he realized that he had just thrown up at a crime scene. Shit.

“The Chief will kill me,” he said with a groan, “I contaminated the crime scene!”

Shao Fei grimaced as they both looked at Zhao Zi’s very own _‘crime scene’_ and he said with a tilted head: “Not really? We already found the place the victim was killed. He either was able to walk to the path with his last breath or the killer carried him so he would be easy to find.”

Zhao Zi stared at the tent and the police car which drove away with the victim and when he would close his eyes, he would still see Shao Fei’s face in front of him, dead.

“Do we know who he is?”

“Yes, he had his ID in one pocket of his running pants.”

Zhao Zi wasn’t ready for the man’s name or his ID picture. Not when he had thought it was Shao Fei.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea if you would tell his next of kin the bad news…” With a face that resembled the victim so much.

“I guess not,” Shao Fei said with a smile devoid of any humour.

“Was there a phone with his belongings? Maybe he used one of those running apps to keep track of his distance and health and whatnot?”

“The forensic team packed everything up already, you can join them at the headquarter if you want to analyse the data.”

“Okay,” Zhao Zi said. “Okay, but I think I need a hug first.”

* * *

“We assume that the victim was stabbed in the back first,” Jun Wei said to the room full of police officers and put on the next slide, “he might have tried to flee but might have been forced to turn around and was stabbed multiple times in the chest, one of the stabs reached his heart and killed him. We counted over twenty stabs in total, ten inflicted post-mortems.”

“He must have been in a rage,” mumbled one detective to Zhao Zi’s right but Zhao Zi wasn’t able to tear his eyes away from the ID photo of the victim. Shao Fei sat next to him and he had to stifle the urge to take his hand and squeeze it just to make one-hundred percent sure that he was still here and still alive. A murmur had gone through the room when the picture had appeared and Shao Fei, with a lopsided smile, had waved at everyone but the tension was still palpable.

“According to the victim’s family he had no known enemies, he was an office worker and well-liked by his colleagues and it was known that he would run the same distance and route every Monday and Thursday,” Jun Wei continued, “The victim used an app to track his running scores and the digital forensic department is currently—” Zhao Zi drowned Jun Wei’s voice out and glanced at Shao Fei.

“Are you sure you don’t know this man?”, he asked, whispering. Shao Fei had looked down on the case documents, a pen loosely in his hands, but he hadn’t written anything down. Zhao Zi caught his eyes for a moment. He wasn’t sure how Shao Fei did it, but he would be more freaked out if a murder victim looked like him.

“If I knew about a doppelganger, I would have dropped that in a conversation already,” Shao Fei whispered back, finally, and Zhao Zi frowned. Maybe. But this was weird. His instincts tingled and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that Shao Fei was hiding something from him.

* * *

Shao Fei put a stack of files over the case briefing, that way the photo of the victim was hidden. He still felt rattled, confused and as if someone repeatedly were throwing cold water over his head. He had stood in the precinct’s bathroom for over ten minutes, just staring at his reflection in the mirror and had tried to not see someone strange looking back at him. The curve of his ears, the strand of hair, always standing up in a curl, the shape of his eyes, his mouth, his nose… it all felt like a bad painting someone had done of him.

The department was busy, the chatters of his colleagues a familiar background noise, and it was already dusk as he looked out of the window. How long had they discussed the case?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and his finger hovered over the only contact in his favourite list. Tang Yi was certainly home already and for a moment Shao Fei wanted nothing more than to hear his voice.

But what should he say? Tang Yi was too good in sensing his mood and Shao Fei couldn’t tell him about their new case.

A case that had opened up the wound deep inside him, which, even though he had tried to ignore it, had bled and bled over all these years and now it felt like it had spread over his whole body, infecting his mind and thoughts and he wasn’t able to think clearly anymore.

He had pushed the thoughts about his brother to the back of his mind after they had returned to Taipei. He had wanted to concentrate on Tang Yi and their relationship, which he had almost destroyed. He had gone back to work, had buried himself in cold cases because his new captain had been nice enough to change his resignation into a leave of absence and he had wanted to pay back that way. 

And then he had stared into the face of a dead man, identical to him and everything he had buried had found its way back.

“Stabbing someone in the surrounding area of the river isn’t that easy, don’t you think?” Shao Fei raised his head and stared at Zhao Zi. He needed a few seconds to realize he had spoken to him. “There are always people running or taking a walk with their dog.”

“Yeah,” Shao Fei said and rubbed his hands over his face. “There are also many surveillance cameras. If we won’t find something on them our culprit must have stalked the victim excessively to be able to murder him without a trace on the surveillance.”

“That’s a lot of material to sift through,” Zhao Zi sighed and then rolled closer with his chair. “How are you holding up?”

Shao Fei raised a brow. “I’m fine.”

“Really? You think it isn’t weird that someone who looks like you, a police officer who had been in the news for almost two months constantly, was murdered?”

“There are more coincidences in life than you can imagine.”

“And sometimes if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck; it is a duck.”

“Our murderer is a duck?”

Zhao Zi looked at him, wholly unimpressed, and his lack of getting on board with the suspicion that this case was strange was most likely the cause for Zhao Zi to assume that something was off.

The interesting thing was that Zhao Zi’s grandmother had been the only one who had known about his _tragic_ past. She had taken one look at him and had put her warm, calloused hands on his face, a sad but determined shine in her eyes.

_‘You won’t let that destroy you,’_ she had said to him, insistent and like a command. He didn’t think that she had ever told Zhao Zi about it, even though Zhao Zi knew that Shao Fei, like him, had grown up with his grandparents. As often as they went out in a bar and discussed gruesome and terrible crimes with each other they seldomly had a heart to hearts about their personal lives. Shao Fei had to find out about Zhao Zi’s relationship with Jack while Jack had more or less kidnapped Zhao Zi, throwing him over his shoulder like in a bad romance novel.

“We will know more after the autopsy is done and when we analysed the data from the cameras. And those won’t be arriving so soon.”

Zhao Zi made a sound that transmitted to Shao Fei that he wasn’t done asking questions but they both were tired, and their shift had officially ended two hours ago.

Shao Fei’s nerves were only taped together with sheer willpower and he didn’t want them to unravel in the middle of the police department.

“Let’s go find Jun Wei and Xiao Qi,” he said and stood up to get his jacket from the back of his chair. “It’s time to go home.”

* * *

Shao Fei felt a bit like floating, like he laid in the water on his back and stared up at the sky, not able to move a muscle, not drowning, just floating, not able to move his head to see where he was. What was under him? What was around him?

Shao Fei had always moved forward. Now he was stuck, and he thought about his little brother, and he had this clear picture of him when he had been five or six, his chubby face smudged with dirt. When he had called him Da Ge and had shown him the path of ants in their garden, from the tree to the flower bed.

He opened his eyes. It was pleasingly cool in their bedroom and the heavy curtains in front of the windows blocked out every light. He turned his head, and, in the darkness, he could only guess if was Tang Yi facing towards or away from him. His hand reached out without him thinking about it, finding something that might be a shoulder and he felt how his heart was ready to beat out of his chest.

He knew the murder of the man that looked like him had been done by his little brother. He knew it, and he also knew that he couldn’t risk Tang Yi’s involvement in this. Tang Yi’s silent strength grounded him, his power, emitting from him with just a glance, was something Shao Fei graved for. He tried to unclench his fingers, tried to silence his heavy breathing, and in the darkness of their bedroom, he vowed to not let it destroy this happiness, to not let Tang Yi commit a murder in his name. He couldn’t bear it. He was going to solve this without involving the people dear to him. He swore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I hope you had fun reading and we'll see each other in the next part of the series called **"It's you who were beside me"**


End file.
